Why your team won’t listen to you (and how to fix it)

You set the priorities. You repeat yourself. You make it clear. And still—nothing changes. Here’s why.

The meeting ended, and I closed my laptop, convinced we were aligned.

I had walked through the plan—clear, logical, non-negotiable.

People nodded. Some took notes. A few even said, "Makes sense."

Two hours later, a message popped up in Teams:

"Hey, just to confirm… what exactly are we focusing on this sprint?"

I stared at the screen. Was this a joke?

We just spent 45 minutes talking about this.

I scrolled up. Everything was there. Clear priorities. Clear expectations. The same things I had repeated in every meeting.

But there it was—proof that my words had evaporated the moment the call ended.

I took a deep breath and typed a response.

"Let’s discuss this in our next standup."

Translation: Why does no one listen to me?

And in that moment, I realized something brutal:

It wasn’t that they weren’t listening.

They just didn’t care.

---

Step 1: Give Them a Story, Not a Task

At first, I tried being clearer. More details. More bullet points.

Didn’t help.

Because people don’t rally behind instructions. They rally behind meaning.

Here’s how I used to communicate:

"We need to refactor this service."

What they heard: "Extra work that slows us down."

So, I started telling them the story behind the work:

"If we don’t fix this now, every new feature will take twice as long. We either invest today or drown tomorrow."

A task is just work. A story is a reason to care.

The best leaders don’t just assign tasks.

They sell the mission.

---

Step 2: Remove the Hidden Friction

I used to assume silence meant agreement.

It didn’t.

It meant resistance. But not the kind people say out loud.

If your team isn’t following through, it’s not because they’re lazy.

Something is blocking them.

• Maybe they don’t have time.

• Maybe they don’t see the urgency.

• Maybe they don’t trust the decision.

• Maybe they don’t trust you.

My mistake? I thought my job was to push harder.

My real job?

To clear the runway.

✖ Think they’re resistant? Ask them why.
✖ Think they don’t get it? Explain it better.
✖ Think they’re overloaded? Help them prioritize.

Before you assume they don’t care, assume they have a reason.

Then fix it.

---

Step 3: Make It Their Idea

Nobody likes being told what to do.

Even when it’s the right thing.

Want buy-in? Make them the co-authors of the plan.

At first, I’d say:

❌ "We need to improve our on-call process."

People nodded. And nothing changed.

Then, I switched it:

✅ "What’s the most frustrating part of on-call for you? If we could fix one thing, what would it be?"

Now, they weren’t just following orders.

They were leading the change.

Because ownership isn’t given.

It’s felt.

---

Two weeks later, another sprint planning session.

I laid out the priorities—but this time, I didn’t stop there.

I told them the stakes. I asked what could go wrong. I let them poke holes, push back, reshape the plan.

An hour after the meeting, a message popped up in Teams.

"If we invest in fixing the caching issue now, we won’t get stuck refactoring mid-quarter. Should we add that to this sprint?"

I stared at the screen.

Not "What are we focusing on?"

Not "Can you repeat what you said?"

But a proactive suggestion. A sign that they weren’t just listening.

They were thinking.

---

Your Move:

• Are you giving your team tasks or stories?

• Are you pushing harder or removing friction?

• Are you making them follow a plan or own the plan?

If you get this right, you won’t need to remind them.

They’ll remind you.

---

Follow me on LinkedIn for daily insights shared with 70,000+ incredible minds.

---

If you’re looking to grow your career, here are three ways I can help you:

1. The Resume Ghostbuster: Join 5,000+ people who’ve transformed their resumes into recruiter magnets. Use the robust AI script to transform your resume into the template of your choice. Includes LinkedIn profile update and job search strategies.

2. The Top Engineer Method: Join 1,000+ engineers in my flagship course.
   The Top Engineer Method teaches you frameworks for getting unstuck in your career by showcasing your work, building relationships, and handling work politics with confidence. Come learn to grow your influence, get promoted faster, and stay focused on solving the problems that matter.

3. The Top Tech Leader Method: Join 500+ engineering leaders across the globe inside the Top Tech Leader Method. This comprehensive course will teach you the methods I used to lead high-performing teams, influence executives, and grow into an engineering executive at top-tier tech companies.