My first day at Microsoft started with a war. But it taught me everything I needed to know about surviving a snake pit—and becoming a People Whisperer.
Good advice, only as you say: some people still won't respond. In one case I experienced (common scenario I think), two toxic managers were helping each other to get promoted over everyone else, playing "good cop, bad cop" while secretly coordinating their obstructive strategy, pretending to collaborate with everyone and help their projects progress while secretly sabotaging everyone else, diverting common investment funds to prioritize their own projects, pretending the rate-limiting factor in the whole program was their own inadequate control of the whole team's resources. They told all kinds of lies about others behind their backs and often cast their criticisms in seductive, faux-humorous, humble-brag, good-natured back-slapping stoic type packaging; subtly casting themselves as commercial pragmatists while casting far better qualified personnel whom they knew to be the genuine innovators (whose credit they consistently stole, while taking no personal risk) as "commercially unpragmatic", slow, and impractical.
Eventually it got exposed (unfortunately: after they pushed out the managers who had integrity, got themselves promoted, and most of the best system engineers left). Everyone else tried to collaborate with them in good faith (and they frequently deployed that word, "collaboration", for tactical political advantage). But from their 5 year power struggle of back-stabbing and a whole series of professional character assassinations to gain personal supremacy, the whole program & team was ultimately left as a smoking crater in the ground, bleeding cash through wounds they created with their fraud!
What I still don't understand is: how can any team leader or organization allow this? Surely the right of reply is a most basic requirement for creating a "safe space" for learning and innovation? Surely this basic fact is obvious to any thinking person? Why do top leaders allow certain people to bend their ear and whisper, while almost totally ignoring the targets of their whispering campaings until it is years too late? When will leaders learn to stop listening to seductive voices, be suspicious of bonhomie, and consult more broadly to see the big picture?
Thanks for sharing that different perspective. If people want to be toxic, that‘s on them. How you respond, that‘s on you.
I‘m curious about the timeline of your strategy. You were definitely playing the long game and it must habe taken a long time to build that foundation and start ripping the benefits. I imagine it got worse before it got better.
Can you speak a bit about roughly how long it took to:
I started discovering the place right away. HR had warned us in the orientation about the past culture and to be patient. Some people became friends with a couple of meet ups, some doubted more. I worked there for 3 years and had 5 bosses. That’s another story. I’ll be sharing more in future posts.
This is the most toxic thing I've read about any company culture. It's worse than amazon. I'm so thankful I work at Google. Microsoft needs to do better, what a shame..
"Toxic" has unfortunately become a buzzword and can mean many things. What is described as "toxic" in the text is more due to how individuals react to pressure at the workplace or how work culture and open communication (or the lack thereof) affects people. I agree with the author that - to a certain extent - you can positively influence this with your own behaviour. When it gets really "toxic" though, e.g. bullying or bossing, micro-management, mushroom management, favoritism, discrimination or misogyny - and if you don't get support from superiors or the staff delegation (if there is one), it's better to take the consequences and look for a better alternative elsewhere as soon as possible.
I definitely felt frustrated, and there were times it felt like burnout. I wanted to quit. What kept me going was my determination to grow as a leader and my gratitude for the tough environment. Making an impact in their lives fueled me to push forward. Leadership is hard when done right, but it’s also incredibly fulfilling.
I agree :) Do you believe this mindset can help to work with dark triad personality without getting backfired. I am genuinely concerned about this, so I asked.
Some people took advantage of my approach. I learned how to continue to refine my approach. You can’t control others. Only show up to help. The outcome is not in your hands.
It's a good thought line and quite along the lines of walking the high route. Still years of doing this might also hit your performance and eat away at your peace and confidence, as the results might show in years and another person choosing to drop their fear is not 100% subject to 1 person's behaviour or backing.
Professional relationships need some human and psychological dealing. As a manager, it is highly essential. As an employee it takes away from your work efficiency or personal life.
I hear you completely. It’s exhausting to keep walking that high road, especially when the impact isn’t immediate, and you can’t control how others choose to act. I’ve been there myself—when I joined Microsoft as an individual contributor, I felt the weight of that toxic environment. But these same leadership actions, grounded in emotional intelligence, got me into a management role within six months.
It’s not just for managers—emotional intelligence is for everyone. It helps navigate these difficult dynamics without losing yourself, but I know it’s not always easy to balance that with work and personal life.
Insecurity doesn’t like the spotlight. It hides until it feels safe—until they trust you won’t use it against them.
To step into their insecurity, you need to show vulnerability first. Share a moment where you didn’t get it right—maybe you missed a deadline or received tough feedback. The deeper you go, the deeper they’ll go. If you want them to open up, you have to lead with your own vulnerability.
And when they do share, don’t judge it. Don’t say, “That’s the wrong way to think.” Just listen.
This helps you step into their insecurity, but it’s not the full solution. Challenging them comes next—and that’s a whole other post. Stay tuned.
I've been in situations where I spent many years leading with my own vulnerability, modeling transparency, carefully demonstrating to my colleagues that I wasn't a threat to them, repeatedly giving them exactly what they wanted to progress.
There are cases when that doesn't work. Some people will still weaponize your vulnerability and stab you in the back, all while pretending to be your best friend and ready to help you as soon as their (ever-changing) conditions are finally met.
So I wholeheartedly agree with your recommendations. But sometimes you just have to stop your losses and expose or fire the obstructionists to save the team, the project, and the business. Often the best way to do this is: give them enough rope to hang themselves (perhaps all the resources they ask for), and stand back at a safe distance (let them fail without any outside interference, document the whole process, and hold them accountable). Sometimes that's all one can do after other measures fail.
Good advice, only as you say: some people still won't respond. In one case I experienced (common scenario I think), two toxic managers were helping each other to get promoted over everyone else, playing "good cop, bad cop" while secretly coordinating their obstructive strategy, pretending to collaborate with everyone and help their projects progress while secretly sabotaging everyone else, diverting common investment funds to prioritize their own projects, pretending the rate-limiting factor in the whole program was their own inadequate control of the whole team's resources. They told all kinds of lies about others behind their backs and often cast their criticisms in seductive, faux-humorous, humble-brag, good-natured back-slapping stoic type packaging; subtly casting themselves as commercial pragmatists while casting far better qualified personnel whom they knew to be the genuine innovators (whose credit they consistently stole, while taking no personal risk) as "commercially unpragmatic", slow, and impractical.
Eventually it got exposed (unfortunately: after they pushed out the managers who had integrity, got themselves promoted, and most of the best system engineers left). Everyone else tried to collaborate with them in good faith (and they frequently deployed that word, "collaboration", for tactical political advantage). But from their 5 year power struggle of back-stabbing and a whole series of professional character assassinations to gain personal supremacy, the whole program & team was ultimately left as a smoking crater in the ground, bleeding cash through wounds they created with their fraud!
What I still don't understand is: how can any team leader or organization allow this? Surely the right of reply is a most basic requirement for creating a "safe space" for learning and innovation? Surely this basic fact is obvious to any thinking person? Why do top leaders allow certain people to bend their ear and whisper, while almost totally ignoring the targets of their whispering campaings until it is years too late? When will leaders learn to stop listening to seductive voices, be suspicious of bonhomie, and consult more broadly to see the big picture?
A company firing managers is not really toxic. A real toxic workplace fires ICs and protects management inner circle
Good tips and I agree on creating trust as a strategy.
Your summaries are just too high level. I think more tangible examples would be helpful to understand some of your learnings.
Thanks. I will write a series on my Microsoft experience sharing details of key moments.
Great insight...hopefully, Microsoft has become a better place to work.
Incredibly hard to navigate—but fastest way to learn political-savvy and leadership.
https://fromcodetocorneroffice.substack.com/
Wow
Amazing tool kit, to survive in a toxic work environment.
Being in a toxic work environment a couple of times, I can resonate with this very well.
Your journey from first day at MS to the day of becoming a people whisperer is amazing.
Sometimes toxicity is a two way street. Identifying where we are being toxic to the team also can help us better.
Thanks for sharing that different perspective. If people want to be toxic, that‘s on them. How you respond, that‘s on you.
I‘m curious about the timeline of your strategy. You were definitely playing the long game and it must habe taken a long time to build that foundation and start ripping the benefits. I imagine it got worse before it got better.
Can you speak a bit about roughly how long it took to:
* explore the workplace
* get to know your steakholders
* understand their agendas
* build trust
* and finally making a difference?
I started discovering the place right away. HR had warned us in the orientation about the past culture and to be patient. Some people became friends with a couple of meet ups, some doubted more. I worked there for 3 years and had 5 bosses. That’s another story. I’ll be sharing more in future posts.
I worked in a toxic organization for years that had a lot of what you described. It was exhausting and I'm happy to be out.
This is the most toxic thing I've read about any company culture. It's worse than amazon. I'm so thankful I work at Google. Microsoft needs to do better, what a shame..
This was in 2016 and was the beginning of Satya’s era. He started changing these cultural practices.
"Toxic" has unfortunately become a buzzword and can mean many things. What is described as "toxic" in the text is more due to how individuals react to pressure at the workplace or how work culture and open communication (or the lack thereof) affects people. I agree with the author that - to a certain extent - you can positively influence this with your own behaviour. When it gets really "toxic" though, e.g. bullying or bossing, micro-management, mushroom management, favoritism, discrimination or misogyny - and if you don't get support from superiors or the staff delegation (if there is one), it's better to take the consequences and look for a better alternative elsewhere as soon as possible.
Fantastic read
Thanks n
An interesting perspective. It is a shame people have to work in this manner.
did you get burned-out ?
Nope. I was enjoying solving the problem of building trust.
did you get burned out ?
I definitely felt frustrated, and there were times it felt like burnout. I wanted to quit. What kept me going was my determination to grow as a leader and my gratitude for the tough environment. Making an impact in their lives fueled me to push forward. Leadership is hard when done right, but it’s also incredibly fulfilling.
I agree :) Do you believe this mindset can help to work with dark triad personality without getting backfired. I am genuinely concerned about this, so I asked.
Thank you Taha for sharing your perspective.
Some people took advantage of my approach. I learned how to continue to refine my approach. You can’t control others. Only show up to help. The outcome is not in your hands.
It's a good thought line and quite along the lines of walking the high route. Still years of doing this might also hit your performance and eat away at your peace and confidence, as the results might show in years and another person choosing to drop their fear is not 100% subject to 1 person's behaviour or backing.
Professional relationships need some human and psychological dealing. As a manager, it is highly essential. As an employee it takes away from your work efficiency or personal life.
I hear you completely. It’s exhausting to keep walking that high road, especially when the impact isn’t immediate, and you can’t control how others choose to act. I’ve been there myself—when I joined Microsoft as an individual contributor, I felt the weight of that toxic environment. But these same leadership actions, grounded in emotional intelligence, got me into a management role within six months.
It’s not just for managers—emotional intelligence is for everyone. It helps navigate these difficult dynamics without losing yourself, but I know it’s not always easy to balance that with work and personal life.
How do you step into their insecurity?
Insecurity doesn’t like the spotlight. It hides until it feels safe—until they trust you won’t use it against them.
To step into their insecurity, you need to show vulnerability first. Share a moment where you didn’t get it right—maybe you missed a deadline or received tough feedback. The deeper you go, the deeper they’ll go. If you want them to open up, you have to lead with your own vulnerability.
And when they do share, don’t judge it. Don’t say, “That’s the wrong way to think.” Just listen.
This helps you step into their insecurity, but it’s not the full solution. Challenging them comes next—and that’s a whole other post. Stay tuned.
I've been in situations where I spent many years leading with my own vulnerability, modeling transparency, carefully demonstrating to my colleagues that I wasn't a threat to them, repeatedly giving them exactly what they wanted to progress.
There are cases when that doesn't work. Some people will still weaponize your vulnerability and stab you in the back, all while pretending to be your best friend and ready to help you as soon as their (ever-changing) conditions are finally met.
So I wholeheartedly agree with your recommendations. But sometimes you just have to stop your losses and expose or fire the obstructionists to save the team, the project, and the business. Often the best way to do this is: give them enough rope to hang themselves (perhaps all the resources they ask for), and stand back at a safe distance (let them fail without any outside interference, document the whole process, and hold them accountable). Sometimes that's all one can do after other measures fail.
Will look out for your next article on this subject thank you